Raina (raina_chan) wrote,
Raina
raina_chan

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Akuroku alert!

So, yeah, that lemon I wrote about last week? It had a non-con part to it too, which I omitted here because... Well, I have an FFN account for that. But I got pleas to try and continue it to give it more closure. Which it WAS terribly open-ended. And I was wanting to write something particularly angsty, so I tried to write the fall-out.

Keep in mind, this is a rough draft and is subject to change. And I think I made the ending to THIS terribly open ended. XDD Hahaha! I are funny. There are no warnings. Absolutely nothing graphic about this piece. Of course, it is Akuroku, the only KH pairing for meeeee.



Since that one night, Roxas hadn’t seemed any different on the outside. Axel knew, that whatever had happened was still bothering him. He’d spent hours trying to get the boy to stop crying, and hours after that trying to calm him down. That was far too long for the simple sad memory, which he doubted Roxas would have even if he could remember.

Roxas hadn’t always been so cold, at least not to him. In fact, he was rather fond of playing pranks. His pranks were a bit off color, but just about every member was guilty of the harmless, or not so harmless, joke every now and then. There was very little to do to pass the time by day in and day out.

For Roxas, there seemed to be entirely too much time for thinking these days. His demeanor was much colder, more aloof. He was starting to remind Axel of a certain Superior. Roxas didn’t notice, more concerned about the wall he was building around himself. He could always feel eyes on him, even when he was sure he was by himself.

So new to the game the Organization played, and so afraid to lose again. Axel wasn’t allowed to touch him anymore. At least, not in any way Roxas saw inappropriate. He never said anything, but Axel knew by the look in his eyes he would impale him if he went any further than entirely innocent.

And above them all, Xemnas watched number XIII with a certain sense of pride and accomplishment. He felt as if he’d managed to spoil the ethereal light of Sora. Perhaps he had, even though Roxas was only his Nobody. Would Sora have felt it as Roxas was desecrated, his desperate cries for help? Would his heart enact those emotions that Roxas desperately wanted to forget?

Whether Sora was in any way affected, it was enough to watch Roxas shrink under his gaze. Everyone could feel it when Roxas walked into a room, the infectious sadness surrounding them all and infecting their very souls. His self-hate, and self-consciousness was enough to cause most to check themselves. Xemnas loved how obvious it was, his power over Roxas.

Axel could only look on Roxas in pity and wish he could feel empathy. Perhaps that was all Roxas needed: someone who could feel. Oh, everyone had their own ideas on what Roxas needed, but none of them could understand his psyche. No one understood how closely those supposedly forgotten emotions played on his heart.

“Perhaps Roxas is the one who wants to be the harbinger of Darkness?” Xaldin joked and Roxas smiled.

“Maybe,” he answered, cryptic. The rest gave a nervous laugh and walked away. Axel frowned at his still smiling friend, his friend who now looked more hurt than anything else.

“Why did you say that?” he demanded, knowing his friend could not be anything less than far too innocent. If Sora had any darkness in his heart, and Roxas managed to manifest it, he was still far too obviously a child compared to the rest of them. Axel wondered if he understood the words coming out of their mouths.

But Roxas understood far too much, self-destructive thoughts always on the corners of his mind, playing with his smile. Vowing revenge, wanting someone, anyone to feel the helplessness he now felt day in and day out, because Xemnas was on a pedestal he couldn’t reach. On a pedestal that no one could reach, could possibly hope to harm.

“What do you mean?” he asked absently, hand holding the pages of the book lightly, while his face rested against the other. Even then, Axel knew he was trying to hide something. His bored expression seemed far too calculated to be genuine, even for a nobody. Not because he was losing his ability to pretend, either.

“You and I both know that you’re not even close to darkness, Roxas.”

“Why do you say that?” Turn the page, more words to face. Clocks ticked softly, and Axel’s breath hung entirely too close, though there was at least a foot of space between them. “It’s not like I claimed it first, you know.”

“You’re depressed,” Axel surmised quickly with an airy wave of his hand. “Not a harbinger of darkness. There’s just a tad bit of a difference.”

Tense shoulders, and light prickles on his back. Pages shifted and the pain of knowing how shocked he looked, though he was trying to look anything but. “I’m not depressed. I’ve been thinking.”

“Thinking about depressing things, no doubt. Maybe you should stop. So you could stop pretending that you’re the blackest lack of heart among us all.”

“Without a heart, how can I be depressed?” he asked smugly, the realization dawning on him and he could look Axel in the eye with a smirk, though his smile vanished before Axel’s unfazed stare.

“Do you think it’s impossible to get depressed, Roxas? That having no heart protects us from the feeling of knowing we have no feelings?” Roxas stared and Axel smirked, leaning forward, too close and the boy shrank away. “You’re a fool. The only thing you’ve managed to get past me is why you’re depressed. I can’t understand for the life of me how you could seem so happy one day and depressed the next.” He looked away from Roxas and Roxas looked away from him.

He didn’t want Axel to know, for fear that he would only confirm the words Xemnas said, or worse, try to protect him, to avenge him. Roxas couldn’t bear to have that happen, and so he said nothing, preferring to try and convince Axel that he’d lost all interest in him.

But Axel wouldn’t leave, believing there was something special about that night and the closer spent ones before.

“All I’ve got to go on is your strange words,” he continued and Roxas closed his eyes. He didn’t want to hear the question he knew was coming next. “So, who did it, Roxas?”

“Did what?” He smiled to himself, knowing that Axel was bluffing, pulling at his secrets in that way he had, to where Roxas almost didn’t realize that he was. He was trying to manipulate him so obviously. Roxas wished he couldn’t take him seriously. He couldn’t look at him, lest the answer be written in his eyes.

Axel’s gloved hand on his shoulder, and the strange feeling of being unable to fight overcame him. He had to resist the urge to scream, and failed utterly as Axel’s lips brushed his, in the lightest of manners. He could have knocked him flat, but he didn’t. The keyblades never appeared.

Roxas shook violently and turned his head away. “Don’t touch me.” Weakly said, knees pulled halfway to his chest before he could stop himself, protect himself, even though Axel was no longer near him. His words floated to him, as if in a dream.

“Who forced you to, Roxas?”

“What are you talking about?” he whispered to himself. “No one did anything, leave me alone Axel.” He turned to face the redhead, and Axel wanted him to cry, his eyes looked as if they needed the relief. His whole face looked so much younger than it really was, and he couldn’t force himself to continue the inquisition.

Axel placed his hand over his eyes, unwelcome guilt invading his thoughts for hurting Roxas. The need to know vanished, knowing the sights Roxas was reliving through that blank stare. All he had wanted to know was his accomplice, who would be that one person who would want to tear Roxas down. To hurt number XIII. He removed his hand from narrowed eyes as he realized.

Who was the one among them who held different goals? Who wanted something more than just to be whole? A minute before he had been pulling out his hair, dying to know. Then, he was cursing himself for not realizing before. He looked to Roxas, who was still shaking, though he seemed to be regaining composure.

“Xemnas did it,” and even as he said it, he felt sick to his stomach, watching that deer in headlights look on Roxas’s face. How Roxas stood up far too quickly shouted far too loudly for him to shut up.

Keyblades clashed against chakrams and Axel knew without a doubt that he was right. But Roxas was too upset to fight, to preoccupied between the time before, and that moment. Axel knocked the keyblades away and readied for another assault, knowing any attempt to take them away from their master would be futile. But Roxas didn’t attack again.

He stared in mute agony for a few moments, and Axel watched in fearful trepidation, wondering how anyone could have forced Roxas to do anything he didn’t want to do, how anyone could look at him and not rip their hair out for even considering the idea. Roxas had whispered to him once on those sleepless nights that he should consider himself damned lucky.

Roxas didn’t have lust, not like the rest of them, and his innocent face was enough to make everyone walk away, never mind their claims in sexual preference or sexual experience. He pointed the keyblade at Axel, announcing just audible, “If you do anything, anything at all for me, I will kill you. This is none of your business.”

“What would you have me do, Roxas?” Axel demanded, angry, furious. He wanted to slap him silly and kiss him and protect him all in one move. “Walk away, like you don’t exist? Pretend that you’re not hurting? Don’t you want that bastard to answer for his actions?”

“He showed me my place. Learn yours.”

“Damn it, I’ve got seniority over you, so shut up.” Axel raged, throwing his chakrams to the ground. Roxas wouldn’t hit him, not then. “What would you have me do, then?”

“Forget this ever happened,” Roxas answered quickly. “Never say anything to anyone, don’t let this get out, don’t ruin me!”

Axel looked away from him and sighed. He held his hand out to create a portal and Roxas jumped. Before Axel could say anything, Roxas was there pulling on his sleeve, on the verge of hysterics. “Axel, you can’t leave before you promise!”

“I’ll promise.” Roxas let go of his arm and Axel walked through the portal, leaving the words, “But promises mean nothing to a nobody, kid.”


Ok, story over. Anyway, I was playing a game with my nieces today in the pool. Now, my nieces are positively crazy about KH2. I've been letting them play that one (even though I should have them play KH1, but the opening to that always ends with me answering a lot of questions that I don't want to) the past week. So, this game is called Stars and it's basically a pop culture/trivia game. You think up a show and give hints to what you're thinking of. They usually don't like mine, because I pull out movies like the Count of Monte Cristo, or I ask them the name of celebrities, or I dig out some obscure FF character or some NOT SO OBSCURE KH character.

So, I was thinking of Axel. And I didn't want to do the obvious, "He has red hair and is from Kingdom Hearts." My hint? "This guy is totally gay for Roxas."

Oh, they went through some completely RANDOM answers. "Pence!" "Olette!" "Namine!" "LEON!!!"

XDD One of them got it off that hint though. This is terrible, as they are 8 and 10. I shouldn't be encouraging them yet.
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